Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Accepting the Challenge

  For the past few weeks, I have been toying with the idea of doing a 28-day yoga challenge that my studio is running.  The challenge entails that you must attend a yoga class every day for the entire month of February and will receive a gift card upon completion.  I have been hetisant about signing up because I spend a lot of weekends 2 hours away at my boyfriend's house.  I was also nervous I wouldn't want to wake up at 7 AM on days I have to work until 1 AM.  I was worried I could pull a muscle in the first few days and be in pain the remainder of the month.  Honestly, I was afraid I would be too lazy some days and skip class.
  I was making excuses.  I have a chronic fear of committing.  Not necessarily in relationships, but in everything else.  I was committed to an expensive private college for months before freaking out about student loans and decided to commute to a local state university instead.  I have a terrible love of tanning, but I rarely go because I fear that I will buy a month's package and not use it enough.  I have a similar fear of gym memberships. 
  Last night, I attended my most advanced yoga class yet.  I was so challenged, but I loved every second.  The other students in the class ranged from teens to 50 year olds.  And they were good.  I would back out of a tough pose only to see that the 40-something man who looked like he was in a motorcycle gang was executing the pose perfectly.  I have advanced greatly since September, sure, but if I want to be a yoga master attending a couple classes a week isn't going to cut it anymore.  So, when I got home from class and curled up to watch the Boston Bruins hockey game, I e-mailed the yoga studio's owner and signed up for the challenge. 
  I'm still nervous about it.  Sending the e-mail was not a momentous action.  But now I'm a different nervous.  I'm anxious to get to work, and to see how much I advance in these 28 days.  I'm excited to see how this yogathon will affect my everyday life. I feel so incredible after a class that I can't imagine how good I'll feel when I'm attending a class everyday.  I believe (and desperately hope) that this will be the best combatant to my seasonal depression and anxiety.  I'm happy to have a renewed sense of structure, as I have been out of class for 6 weeks now and have an inconsistant work schedule. 
  My transformation is not as easy as it sounds.  I cannot just say I'm going to do it and POOF it's done.  It will take an incredible amount of work on and off my mat.  But I am ready to accept the challenge.

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